My metaphor for the imminent collision ofDon's personal and professional lives.
Shia LaBeouf is just along for the ride
In no particular order, here's bulletized list of things I've done, things I've thought, and things I've hoped would happen in the last week.
* Discovered The Michael Bayifier, which I find inexplicably hilarious and allows me to create masterpieces like the above.
* Now have an urge to watch Hot Fuzz again (for now I'll just live with Youtube clips) because I will laugh my ass off at a send-up of Michael Bay films, but actual Michael Bay films are insufferable. And this is coming from someone who usually wants everything to blow up in movies. Though I am reminded I still have not seen Point Break yet.
* Almost crying during Dexter this week. I'm usually annoyed by the kids, but this week Cody broke my damn heart.
* Yelling at my computer during Mad Men, but that happens every week. WTF Don?
* Hoping that the alluded to "old friend" that's supposed to help Don next week is S1 Rachel Menken, the only of Don's mistress for which I had any respect.
* Being disappointed we found out this week that Barney Stinson's real father is not Bob Barker.
* Made a joke about Ernest Borgnine and then he appeared! It just made me remember one of my favorite Simpsons episode ever. $20? But I wanted a peanut!
* Laughed my way through our break in our morning class today as a couple of students had a very extensive conversation about 便秘 and 食物繊維不足 (lack of dietary fiber). I about lost my shit when one of them made a crack about how we should pack Metamucil in our luggage in preparation for going abroad.
* One of my favorite jokes from school this week was when we were talking about how to get rid of newspaper/NHK salesmen that come to your door. Our sensei was telling us to do it in Japanese, and the rest of us were like, "Just speak English!" Then one kid one-upped us all and explained that he would say "日本語を食べません" ("I don't eat Japanese"). I don't know why I thought it was so funny, but the sensei got a good laugh out of it too.
* Wrote a presentation I'm due to give tomorrow on the seedy Seattle Underground, though I'm not sure if all the tales of booze, the big ass fire, drugs, crime, prostitutes and exploding toilets will fit in the 3 minutes that I have. It also doesn't sound quite as funny in Japanese, especially when you can't make off-color, inappropriate jokes, such as seeing prostitutes' "soles" as they stood on top of the glass of the underground, advertising their wares.
* Learned that Dutch sounds like a crazy, fake language (apologies to anyone who speaks it). I started to laugh a little, but then I remembered I was watching a Japanese news program covering a plane crash into an apartment building killing over 200 in Amsterdam and then felt guilty about it. Then felt doubly guilty for making fun of Dutch people.
* One night of karaoke, and another night spent in an izakaya over the weekend. Business as usual.
* Went to an English pub on Friday, but it's not like any of the pubs where I used to circulate. Popcorn and candies as impulse buys at the bar, and pressed flowers in the toilet seats in the ladies room. I miss the College Inn and its ridiculous graffiti on the stall walls. Can't beat a $2.50 Japanese cocktail on happy hour, though.
* Attempted with another classmate (hi Wilson!) over the weekend to explain The Jersey Shore to some J-Girls. I don't think it quite translates, especially when I tried to get into the regional divide between Manhattan, Westchester, Long Island, and Jersey. However, regional lines showed when I described Jersey-ites けばけばしい (tacky, showy) and our Japanese interlocutors were like "OH, YOU MEAN LIKE IN OSAKA?"
* As previously stated, hung out with some Japanese people, got phone numbers, and also managed to get one of the J-boys to text me back. I think he was just being polite though (at least he paid for my cab ride home... well no, that's not true, he made his rich friend that was passed out in the front seat pay), but you know, that is a first for me.
* Learned I am a robot.
* Bought toilet paper that smells like peaches. In retrospect, I suppose I could've guessed (it's called "Fruit Basket" and has "Peach" written on the front, but I assumed that was in reference to the pink color of the toilet paper), but wtf Japan, that is just plain weird.
* Filled out my census form. Now I impact the federal spending of two countries!
* Looking forward to my hiking field trip on Friday. Horray!
* Hoping to cause more trouble over the weekend. Horray!
* Discovered The Michael Bayifier, which I find inexplicably hilarious and allows me to create masterpieces like the above.
* Now have an urge to watch Hot Fuzz again (for now I'll just live with Youtube clips) because I will laugh my ass off at a send-up of Michael Bay films, but actual Michael Bay films are insufferable. And this is coming from someone who usually wants everything to blow up in movies. Though I am reminded I still have not seen Point Break yet.
* Almost crying during Dexter this week. I'm usually annoyed by the kids, but this week Cody broke my damn heart.
* Yelling at my computer during Mad Men, but that happens every week. WTF Don?
* Hoping that the alluded to "old friend" that's supposed to help Don next week is S1 Rachel Menken, the only of Don's mistress for which I had any respect.
* Being disappointed we found out this week that Barney Stinson's real father is not Bob Barker.
* Made a joke about Ernest Borgnine and then he appeared! It just made me remember one of my favorite Simpsons episode ever. $20? But I wanted a peanut!
* Laughed my way through our break in our morning class today as a couple of students had a very extensive conversation about 便秘 and 食物繊維不足 (lack of dietary fiber). I about lost my shit when one of them made a crack about how we should pack Metamucil in our luggage in preparation for going abroad.
* One of my favorite jokes from school this week was when we were talking about how to get rid of newspaper/NHK salesmen that come to your door. Our sensei was telling us to do it in Japanese, and the rest of us were like, "Just speak English!" Then one kid one-upped us all and explained that he would say "日本語を食べません" ("I don't eat Japanese"). I don't know why I thought it was so funny, but the sensei got a good laugh out of it too.
* Wrote a presentation I'm due to give tomorrow on the seedy Seattle Underground, though I'm not sure if all the tales of booze, the big ass fire, drugs, crime, prostitutes and exploding toilets will fit in the 3 minutes that I have. It also doesn't sound quite as funny in Japanese, especially when you can't make off-color, inappropriate jokes, such as seeing prostitutes' "soles" as they stood on top of the glass of the underground, advertising their wares.
* Learned that Dutch sounds like a crazy, fake language (apologies to anyone who speaks it). I started to laugh a little, but then I remembered I was watching a Japanese news program covering a plane crash into an apartment building killing over 200 in Amsterdam and then felt guilty about it. Then felt doubly guilty for making fun of Dutch people.
* One night of karaoke, and another night spent in an izakaya over the weekend. Business as usual.
* Went to an English pub on Friday, but it's not like any of the pubs where I used to circulate. Popcorn and candies as impulse buys at the bar, and pressed flowers in the toilet seats in the ladies room. I miss the College Inn and its ridiculous graffiti on the stall walls. Can't beat a $2.50 Japanese cocktail on happy hour, though.
* Attempted with another classmate (hi Wilson!) over the weekend to explain The Jersey Shore to some J-Girls. I don't think it quite translates, especially when I tried to get into the regional divide between Manhattan, Westchester, Long Island, and Jersey. However, regional lines showed when I described Jersey-ites けばけばしい (tacky, showy) and our Japanese interlocutors were like "OH, YOU MEAN LIKE IN OSAKA?"
* As previously stated, hung out with some Japanese people, got phone numbers, and also managed to get one of the J-boys to text me back. I think he was just being polite though (at least he paid for my cab ride home... well no, that's not true, he made his rich friend that was passed out in the front seat pay), but you know, that is a first for me.
* Learned I am a robot.
* Bought toilet paper that smells like peaches. In retrospect, I suppose I could've guessed (it's called "Fruit Basket" and has "Peach" written on the front, but I assumed that was in reference to the pink color of the toilet paper), but wtf Japan, that is just plain weird.
* Filled out my census form. Now I impact the federal spending of two countries!
* Looking forward to my hiking field trip on Friday. Horray!
* Hoping to cause more trouble over the weekend. Horray!
I really resent the けばけばしい thing. Everyone knows that Shibuya girls are tons tackier. Osaka girls do the fake hip hop thing, which may seem like Jersey but is probably different. Also, we say けばい.
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