Will You Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me When I'm 27?

It's my half-birthday, so here's a list of things I expect to receive in exactly 6 months when I turn the depressing age of 27.  People keep telling me that your 30s are way better than your 20s and I'm trying to look forward yet another decade creeping up on me, but the fact that I'm nearing 10 years out of high school is giving me the dry heaves.

What's a birthday without a delicious cake??  I'm partial to German Chocolate, just by the by.  No need to go light on the ganache: I don't mind if my teeth start to melt in my jaw. 

Mad Japanese skills, please.

 To finally graduate

To wear a badass leather jacket, like this one by McQueen.  Oh hey, it's only about $5,000.  Totally realistic.

After spilling my lunch of oyako in my purse, I think it's getting to the point where I need to retire this bag.  I've asked for a new one for Christmas, but just in case someone wants to go all out for me, you can get this tote for about $4,000 on Net-A-Porter.  Your other option is to go out, kill and skin a crocodile, and make me a bag yourself.  Chop chop!

Clive Owen, in full kick-ass mode.  Or better yet:

Clive Owen in glasses.  Unf.


Roger Sterling's way with words.

A corgi, obviously.  Or any other dog... I just really need to have a pet in my life.

Get Roxy Music to extend their reunion tour to the United States.  I'm assuming some Bryan Ferry solo dates are very likely, but c'mon, there's no way I can't NOT want to see Phil, Andy and Paul live as well.

I'd also like the secret to whatever it is that makes Cate Blanchett Cate Blanchett.  She is wearing this dress backwards, people.  Would anyone ever know that?  No.  They're too busy being blinded with an inhuman amount of poise, confidence and glamor.

Porsche Carrera GT.  Wooooof, that is a car.  I swear I will learn to drive stick for this. My mom is in love with Porsches (ask her about her orange 912 some time), and now I've inherited it.  But you know, I would also take one of these:

I mean, if I'm going to go into the future, why not do it with some style?  Oh, and while you're at it, figure out what my future's going to be and serve it to me on a silver platter?  Thanks.

P.S. Don't forget to tell me how you like your peanut butter (not a sexual reference).  Chunky needs to pull up from the rear!