Well today was full of fail in ever so many ways, which was mostly my fault. It usually says something when oversleeping by 30 minutes in the morning is the smallest of your mistakes. I honestly get up earlier than I really need to, but I do attempt to do work in the morning, and in order to get anything done, I also need to just stare off into space for awhile to wake myself up. I figure every 10 minutes of productively needs a corresponding 5 minutes of blank-headedness, so you do the math.
I generally get to school probably around 40-45 minutes early, so I wasn't so worried about taking a latter train than usual. Of course, on said train (which was about 15 minutes later), I realized that I had left my homework at home. It's like my brain knew that I had forgotten something, but I stood around rifling through my purse before I left my apartment building, though in that case I was digging around for my keys (put a little * next to "keys" here for now since this will later come back to haunt me). So I get to Sakuragichou Station at about 9:20, 40 minutes before school starts. I'm left with the decision of whether to take a hit for it and go, or to haul some serious ass and run the risk of being late. If you know me at all, the answer is pretty obvious.
So I waited for the next train going back to my home station, and as I'm barreling up the stairs I am also reminded of the fact that I haven't gone on a run since I got here (first it was too hot and now I'm just too lazy to come up with a route) and by the time I'm at the wicket, I'm out of breathe and disgustingly sweaty (I overheat easily and I was wearing a sweater today, stupidly). I run into a small problem at the wicket since my commuter pass only registered that I'd entered at my home station and the machine was like "what the fuck is wrong with you, are you stupid? Why are you bothering me again?" and I had to go talk to the station agent for a second to get him to let me pass and to also reset my pass. I charged home (in the pouring rain because I mean, why wouldn't it be raining) and ran up the stairs, and Japanese people everywhere would be so proud of me that I actually took my damn shoes off before I came into my apartment again for about 15 seconds before blaring through my front door again. At my door I stopped for a second because I had put my apartment building keys in my pocket (I only need a key to the building; my front door unlocks with a passcode) and someone had been entering the building just as I came in like a bat out of hell and charged in after him. I took the keys out of my pocket at my front door and I was like, "wow am I stupid," and put in the code with the keys still in my hand. When I ran out the door again, I couldn't remember if I had put my keys back in my purse, or if I had put them out on my desk or some other surface. I was like NO TIME, DON'T CARE and kept moving along.
Yeah, so I left my keys at home too. I traded my homework for keys when in the first place I was more worried about my keys than my homework. I don't know what the hell goes on in my head sometimes, but after a rather trying day of bursting into the classroom just as someone has started their presentation and smelling like a wet dog (and panting like one too), and having to interview the most uncooperative teacher in the world, forgetting my keys seemed to be the least of my problems. Ugh, now I feel almost obligated to give a snippet of my interview with one of our sensei's because I'm still like, "seriously, dude, what the fuck?" Keep in mind that my half of the conversation is in my poor attempt at keigo (honorific Japanese) just so that you can get the full brunt of the embarrassment. Basically I'm trying to hold this guy up on a pedestal when instead he's decided my head was a better place to sit down and pretend like I'm not there.
Me: Sensei, when you were in college, did you want to be a teacher? Or did you think you were going to become something else?
Sensei: Actually I wanted to be a researcher.
PAUSE [I assumed that because the teachers knew we had to interview them for 20 minutes they'd be forthcoming information that we could use to build a conversation. This was also my first question to him and I thought this was pretty damn broad. Boy was I wrong.]
Me: Oh really? What kind of research did you want to do?
Sensei [perplexed look like I had asked him the most ridiculous question in the world. Irony: it's crunchy]: You know, research.
Me: ?............... What specifically?
Sensei: Educational research.
Me: Okay... who specifically did you want to research? Elementary school students? High schoolers? College students?
Sensei: I guess college students.
End scene. There were more questions along these lines where I tried like fuck to get something out of him, but that was a losing battle. My partner also tried to help, but at the end of it, I ran out of questions and I could no longer grasp at straws, so I was like "Jya, ohayame ni I'm peacing the fuck out," but you know, really politely.
Anyway, I eventually dragged my tired ass home and took one last dig around in my purse hoping that I could will my keys to be there, but that never works. I realized that I would have to go back to the same office where my entire laundry machine drama began and wished up a star that the same woman that had run up and down the stairs with buckets of water and towels wouldn't be the one there. Naturally, when I walked in the door to ask for help, she's the first one I make eye contact with, but someone else came over before she could. I'm sure she was thinking, "Oh God, not that American again, what did she do now? Does she think she was raped by Satan and now her Satan-worshiping neighbors are conspiring to take her baby? Americans do crazy shit like that, I saw it in a movie once." Though she was on the job so the above was probably in keigo.
So far nothing else has happened, though tomorrow my apartment rental company is coming in to "do a monthly check of the fire alarms." That has to be some kind of pretext to make sure I haven't built a drug den or prostitute ring out of my apartment (hey, it's in the contract I signed). Japan, I'm onto you!
And now because I don't have all that much homework tonight and I'm bored, here is some internet nonsense:
Internet Sadness Advisory System
Today I think I feel like at Code Keanu, but I say that mostly because I kind of want a sandwich right now. I can take my daily failures in stride: it's why I write and joke about them.
And yes I made this in Powerpoint. If you want to buy me Photoshop and then teach me how to use it, be my guest. Until then, I stick to the rudimentary tools that I know. Did you see Betty White build a giant mutant crossbow from smaller tools on the season premiere Community? It's kind of like that.
I generally get to school probably around 40-45 minutes early, so I wasn't so worried about taking a latter train than usual. Of course, on said train (which was about 15 minutes later), I realized that I had left my homework at home. It's like my brain knew that I had forgotten something, but I stood around rifling through my purse before I left my apartment building, though in that case I was digging around for my keys (put a little * next to "keys" here for now since this will later come back to haunt me). So I get to Sakuragichou Station at about 9:20, 40 minutes before school starts. I'm left with the decision of whether to take a hit for it and go, or to haul some serious ass and run the risk of being late. If you know me at all, the answer is pretty obvious.
So I waited for the next train going back to my home station, and as I'm barreling up the stairs I am also reminded of the fact that I haven't gone on a run since I got here (first it was too hot and now I'm just too lazy to come up with a route) and by the time I'm at the wicket, I'm out of breathe and disgustingly sweaty (I overheat easily and I was wearing a sweater today, stupidly). I run into a small problem at the wicket since my commuter pass only registered that I'd entered at my home station and the machine was like "what the fuck is wrong with you, are you stupid? Why are you bothering me again?" and I had to go talk to the station agent for a second to get him to let me pass and to also reset my pass. I charged home (in the pouring rain because I mean, why wouldn't it be raining) and ran up the stairs, and Japanese people everywhere would be so proud of me that I actually took my damn shoes off before I came into my apartment again for about 15 seconds before blaring through my front door again. At my door I stopped for a second because I had put my apartment building keys in my pocket (I only need a key to the building; my front door unlocks with a passcode) and someone had been entering the building just as I came in like a bat out of hell and charged in after him. I took the keys out of my pocket at my front door and I was like, "wow am I stupid," and put in the code with the keys still in my hand. When I ran out the door again, I couldn't remember if I had put my keys back in my purse, or if I had put them out on my desk or some other surface. I was like NO TIME, DON'T CARE and kept moving along.
Yeah, so I left my keys at home too. I traded my homework for keys when in the first place I was more worried about my keys than my homework. I don't know what the hell goes on in my head sometimes, but after a rather trying day of bursting into the classroom just as someone has started their presentation and smelling like a wet dog (and panting like one too), and having to interview the most uncooperative teacher in the world, forgetting my keys seemed to be the least of my problems. Ugh, now I feel almost obligated to give a snippet of my interview with one of our sensei's because I'm still like, "seriously, dude, what the fuck?" Keep in mind that my half of the conversation is in my poor attempt at keigo (honorific Japanese) just so that you can get the full brunt of the embarrassment. Basically I'm trying to hold this guy up on a pedestal when instead he's decided my head was a better place to sit down and pretend like I'm not there.
Me: Sensei, when you were in college, did you want to be a teacher? Or did you think you were going to become something else?
Sensei: Actually I wanted to be a researcher.
PAUSE [I assumed that because the teachers knew we had to interview them for 20 minutes they'd be forthcoming information that we could use to build a conversation. This was also my first question to him and I thought this was pretty damn broad. Boy was I wrong.]
Me: Oh really? What kind of research did you want to do?
Sensei [perplexed look like I had asked him the most ridiculous question in the world. Irony: it's crunchy]: You know, research.
Me: ?............... What specifically?
Sensei: Educational research.
Me: Okay... who specifically did you want to research? Elementary school students? High schoolers? College students?
Sensei: I guess college students.
End scene. There were more questions along these lines where I tried like fuck to get something out of him, but that was a losing battle. My partner also tried to help, but at the end of it, I ran out of questions and I could no longer grasp at straws, so I was like "Jya, ohayame ni I'm peacing the fuck out," but you know, really politely.
Anyway, I eventually dragged my tired ass home and took one last dig around in my purse hoping that I could will my keys to be there, but that never works. I realized that I would have to go back to the same office where my entire laundry machine drama began and wished up a star that the same woman that had run up and down the stairs with buckets of water and towels wouldn't be the one there. Naturally, when I walked in the door to ask for help, she's the first one I make eye contact with, but someone else came over before she could. I'm sure she was thinking, "Oh God, not that American again, what did she do now? Does she think she was raped by Satan and now her Satan-worshiping neighbors are conspiring to take her baby? Americans do crazy shit like that, I saw it in a movie once." Though she was on the job so the above was probably in keigo.
So far nothing else has happened, though tomorrow my apartment rental company is coming in to "do a monthly check of the fire alarms." That has to be some kind of pretext to make sure I haven't built a drug den or prostitute ring out of my apartment (hey, it's in the contract I signed). Japan, I'm onto you!
And now because I don't have all that much homework tonight and I'm bored, here is some internet nonsense:
Internet Sadness Advisory System
Today I think I feel like at Code Keanu, but I say that mostly because I kind of want a sandwich right now. I can take my daily failures in stride: it's why I write and joke about them.
And yes I made this in Powerpoint. If you want to buy me Photoshop and then teach me how to use it, be my guest. Until then, I stick to the rudimentary tools that I know. Did you see Betty White build a giant mutant crossbow from smaller tools on the season premiere Community? It's kind of like that.
I love it! I'm at code-level Keanu too. The ATM ate my bank card, which was bogus. So I bought myself a McFlurry, which was excellent. Then I realized that what I thought was brown tofu was actually bloodloaf, which was bogus. Then I met some Germans, which was excellent. But then I remembered all this homework I had to do, which is bogus. So of course I'm reading your blog instead, which is excellent.
ReplyDeleteWYLD STALLYNS!!
ReplyDeleteToday was much better. I think I'm at Code Sad Panda since this was one of the first things I saw this morning on facebook:
http://i.imgur.com/6PUsU.png?ref=nf
And then I walked a couple steps in back of someone out with their corgi and those dogs look even more ridiculous from behind than from the front: such a fat little rumps. Still wish I had an actual pookie though.